Wednesday, December 2, 2009

It's a boy.......





Seventeen years ago today, I cradled a 9+ pound bundle of joy in the Outback of Australia. Looking into that smooth face of loveliness, I was afraid. How could I care for such a gift and this child? This child that I've carried closer to me than anything for 9 entire months. This babe was with me through many transitions..... a young girl desperately wanting to become a lady, a young bride of 2 years still stumbling through a change of roles and a new country, and now, a mama. This tiny one with pudgy fingers and toes, eyes wide in this new world. I know that look. I grin. This sweet one that I now will be with, face to face, and care for awaiting his cries and soothing the hurts, sniffing that delicious head, kissing that yummy face. I am with him and he is with me.

I've learned so very much about who He is in this life through mothering. He is with me. In every transition, He leads me and teaches me those things I need to learn, to grow. I cry helplessly. I am hungry. I have soiled myself and need cleansing. I gash head on corner of the bed post and need a doctor. Stitches to help heal. {I wonder if He looked on, as I did, nauseus that my one year old had to be burrito wrapped and needle through flesh....that precious flesh of mine?} Oh the mind of Him, too great to understand, but glimpses....yes, glimpses of understanding....

I delight as first steps are stumbled out on Aussie soil and board a plane on 1st birthday back to The States. He learns so well, so bright.....my little boy. What joy he brings! I watch infant change to toddler. Toddler to little boy. Little boy to playful boy, creative. Boy to more of a man. More of a man, yet flickers of boy. Manliness marks this child.....my baby.

The years pass ever so quickly, but feel like eternity while in them, and I am not so young. How beautiful the life filled with the ugly-beautiful! The rawness of flesh that I am. The forgiving young adult extends grace for my faults and arms quickly wrap themselves around me. The large hands that grasp the china cup gently during daily tea time. My boy who loves to sit and visit with this mama, who remembers oh so clearly what his life is filled with today.....plans of future, knowing what God has for him, and walking closer with Him daily. What a joy to a mama's heart!

I think back on Mary often during this month. {You see, I have another son who has a birthday in a few days.... joy doubled! Two December baby boys!}

Luke 2:19 (English Standard Version)
But Mary treasured up all these things, pondering them in her heart.

A heart, purposed long ago to treasure these days, ponders the years of walking, stumbling, running....sometimes away.....but returning, life.....as a child.....as His child......

How sweet birthdays are.....how sweet to walk with Him through this life, never alone. Gift. Pure gift. One I can open daily.





holy experience

5 comments:

Lisa notes... said...

A gift we can open daily. How wonderful! Thanks for sharing. And happy birthday to your own boys who share a birthday month with Jesus.

Kelly Langner Sauer said...

*smile*

Yes, this I understand. I will hold my own son soon. Thank you for sharing.

(Visiting from Holy Experience.)

Linda said...

Such sweet words. My two "little boys" have children of their own now. How swiftly the years have passed. We mothers hold the precious memories in our hearts - just as that mother of long ago.
I long to cherish each day, as I walk with Him and desire to grow ever closer to Him.
Thank you for sharing your beautiful post.

Lainie said...

Thank you sweetie... I smiled the whole time I was reading because I could "hear" your voice... so honest and earnest and filled with the love of Jesus.

Yes, I am glad that when I have "soiled" myself, I only need to cry out to Him.

{{{big hug}}}

Jules said...

Kind comments.....Thanks so much for sharing in this with me....your kind words have blessed more than you know. =)~Julie