Bitter Cold

It's cold. Bitter cold. I'm stuck inside. Stuck with a good book. Close to a fire. Wrapped in a blaket. Beloved voices heard in the home.

It's cold. Bitter cold. I'm stuck inside...........I am glad.

The Snow Arrives

The snow arrives and our household is ready to stay in and gather around the fire. It's been so long since we've had this pleasure. Snow days bring a necessary pause. In a way, the earth looks new. Fresh. A natural new beginning for a day. A day scheduled the way you desire and you can stay home. Beginning again is always good to do, even if it's the first of February. Beginnings. They inspire hope, anticipation of good things. Yet, hard things come and we walk through them whether it be willingly or unwillingly. When snow melts and the normal pattern of life gears back up, we will take moments of these days and remember the rest, the pause, the reflecting done and will ever so slowly begin to apply those new beginnings and reestablished rhythms for the days ahead.

Truly, let it snow...........

When life is full......

Schedules become fat with things to do. I look forward to the sunshine and refreshing days. I want to be outside. I didn't grow up being an "outside" girl. The world is transforming before my eyes. I am being transformed.

It's becoming spring in these parts. As wildflowers begin their dance in the wind, I don't seem to keep my eyes on the road very well. Each year I grow to enjoy the changing seasons, but there are still parts of me that grieve the change. Why do I always have to couple grief with everything? It gets heavy. I want to hang on to the past, to the comfortable now. The reason? I'm afraid. As much as I want to be brave, face the world with a smile, seek Him and live new things. I'm scared. Of what? I guess....living. I want to live! I desperately want to. Experience all that God wants for this life, to glorify, worship, adore Him. Grow in gratefulness and love.

My full schedule is piling up all the more. It's just a busy season. I saw it coming. I anticipated it. Look forward to it. I scheduled it. But when it comes down to the doing of it. I feel so small.

I look back at the gifts of this weekend and I am so thankful. A house full of coughing boys healing,

a football tournament taking one boy away,

a birthday party for a precious, thankful girl,

little blue delights waving as I drive past beckoning me to stop and look,

taking photos of a family put together from around the globe,

and a dry cleaner doing a necessary job so well in this little community.

Only Him who sits on the throne could take the so unconnected and weave them into life. The unexpected making life full and I never saw it coming. I'm encouraged. Not quite so afraid. Surprisingly hopeful again. It is good. Grief eases and I think I can see the path ahead to follow Him. I am grateful.




Delicate details of a roadside beauty....



Fading wisteria.....this one blooms this much every five years. Five years of waiting......



Delighted little one, dear to my heart, jumping for joy over a gift.....a gift. Oh that I want to have this coming as a little child to Him rejoicing in His gifts....



Resting from the day's work. Evening light spilling in and it's time to go home. A job well done.

Psalm 100
A psalm. For giving thanks.
1 Shout for joy to the LORD, all the earth.
2 Worship the LORD with gladness;
come before him with joyful songs.

3 Know that the LORD is God.
It is he who made us, and we are his;
we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.

4 Enter his gates with thanksgiving
and his courts with praise;
give thanks to him and praise his name.

5 For the LORD is good and his love endures forever;
his faithfulness continues through all generations.

Whiter than snow

Purify me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; Wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. Psalm 51:7



"Come now, and let us reason together," says the LORD,
"Though your sins are as scarlet,
they will be as white as snow;" Isaiah 1:18



And his appearance was like lightning, and his clothing as white as snow. Matt 28:3

Pondering color and learning about light, as of late. Snow falls white from a gray sky landing and brightening up the world. A blanket of quiet. Snow's quiet, a needed pause to rest. Bustling lives zoom down roads headed to the next appointment or task....except when the snow beckons them to rest. The hurried grumble and my soul finds an excuse to stop, settle, stay.....see.

Storm has passed and light of the next day dances on the white six inch layer. "Wow, that snow is so bright, shining, sparkling...." I hear that quiet still voice, sweet......

"Though your sins are as scarlet, they will be........as white as snow....." My sins? Like that? The ugliness of this heart big with unforgiveness, hurt, sorrow? Held tight reasons to justify my holding these hurts, dealing with them, myself.

Purify me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; Wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. Psalm 51:7

Purified.....delicate snow.....falling pure from heaven. Each flake handcrafted by My Master. White. I shall be clean. I have been washed in the scarlet blood of the Giver of life. Abundant life. Whiter than snow........

From the depths of my soul, I thank you, LORD.......

Hope in Seasons of Life

This season has been cold. My heart cold. The gray of the sky, darkened cool light reflects the mood as of late. Many I speak with struggle with this time of the year. My heart aches with theirs. Sharing their grief, their pain. The heaviness of life seems to paralyze at times........but there is hope. Hope has a name......it's Jesus.



.....and He came. Yes, as a precious baby to a cold world, full of winter. Cold hearts. Full of pain. Not only did He come, he engaged those in pain, felt it Himself, and brought Hope. Hope. To the dying. To the lame. To the blind. To the weak. I am all those things. I feel all those things. I give those things. Now, that He has come.....I have Hope. I am now walking with Hope. I feel Hope. I can give Hope. I have Hope! Oh, my little heart bursts with the fullness of this very thought! Lord, You are too good to us!



You care for this unknown sparrow and give food......soul food. To nurish in those long days of winter when my heart remembers how cold it was and acts like it hasn't been changed. I am more valuable......how can that be? More grace. I have Hope.



Celebrating the Oplatek.....a Polish Christmas Tradition.....breaking the Christmas bread, speaking blessing, swallowing it's deep meaning......Your blessing, Your baby body, broken for us......to bring Hope.....

When the storms come.....

The unexpected storms of life are raging, furiously. Angry, lashing winds of condemnation screaming. Flesh is a powerful force. It's sneaky and when wrapped in the encouragement of itself, dangerous. How quickly our life can change because our fingers are used as a tool to create chaos.....

The wind howls. The boat rocks. I'm in this boat, not because I caused the storm, but because I journey closely with one who crafted the temptest.

My expectation of this holiday season becomes tainted because of the messiness of life. How little I really understand! Why desire the perfection? Planning carefully, for months.....looking forward to new things. The old things...the age old flesh comes in and ruins hours labored for awaiting His coming.

Or does it?

The boat seems to be tipping and I can imagine how the slicing, cold waters will engulf, draw me down to the depths. I gasp. Choke. I'm drowning. And it happened so very quickly. "Lord, save us!"

I'm caught up in the storm.....not resting quietly. I'm so tired. Hurt. Angry. "Where are You?!!!"

I will never leave you, nor forsake you.....

Comfort, briefly. I feel the lashing rain on my face....or is it just the hot tears of loss of control......."WHERE are You?!!!"

I am here. I will never leave you, nor forsake you.....

Listening for the still, calm voice while waves crash and the cries of my loved ones increase seems impossible.

I am here.

Immanuel? Is that You?

Comfort. Peace. Deep love.

Save me!

More peace.

Wind still furious. I am drenched with the ugliness of this flesh storm. I sigh. Choosing peace.

Night will be long for this storm to run it's course......being dragged through it. But He's in the boat. Not stopping the winds, waves.....they are still obeying Him. We must ride out this faith increasing storm. Did I just pray, "Lord, increase our faith?" Yes......and He is. He is using the dirt of this life and breaking up hard, dry soil.....preparing the field.

Shaking with flood of emotion, hurt, my own flesh reactions, will I choose this course? His way? This One who is working, not aparently sleeping in the boat? Will I rest in Him and allow Him to bring us safely to the other side? Will I choose Him as my peace?

God with us.....in the barn, the manger....in the healing of the leper, my flesh disease......in the everyday, working with hands, carving out a life.....in the storm, calming me while storm increases......and He increases my faith, deepening relationship.

It wasn't our tree

Anticipating the tree decorating. It's almost December. We have a date for our family night to hang ornaments, deck the halls. And then this happened......






Sunday night ended at a couple's house who invited kids over to help them decorate the tree. This grandma and grandpa opened their home and let others decorate the largest decoration of the season. She said that it "helped her out," but I know she could've done this. Yet, she opened her life, her tradition up for other kids to share. The children giggled, carefully placed ornaments, delighted in little treasures crafted last year proudly placing them on chosen branch. They were so excited. I was blessed.




My boys don't have grandparents near and the generational lifestyle we so desire is difficult to live, especially at the holidays. This couple has watched our boys grow and at a distance grew to love them as their own. I didn't ask them to do this. They just did. I am blessed.

Wondering if this event was as meaningful to them as it was to me, conversation instantly began as we took winding road home. "It felt like what going to grandma's should feel like." "I love decorating such a huge tree!" "I'm so glad we got to do this again this year." "That was really fun."

The evening wasn't anything particularly deep. No story. No analysis of the season. No defining what should occur at Christmas. There was freedom. Freedom to create. To laugh. Explore. Appreciate. Be wow-ed. =) And the deep came. The conversation between children from 2 to 17 years flowed. The story poured out. The holiday memories. These children know each other. They've been through years of just life, together. This was one of the happy moments smoothing over the troubling waters and rough edges. Smoothing. Coming together. Returning to fellowship. Isn't that part of Christmas, too? The most important part? The returning to fellowship and the tree that made the way........

Yes. And.....it wasn't our tree.......

I am blessed. The season of Thanksgiving never ends.

Weekend Ambling

Staying home is one of the best places to amble, rest,......just be. Holiday weekends provide such rest, when we choose it. We could choose it this year.......and rest we did.



Work a picture......piece by piece. Perspective....a puzzle ecourages new view.



A little town, prepared for the season at a dear friend's house. My heart desires to prepare for His coming......this season of anticipation.....He is coming! In quietness and rest shall be your strength....not rush, worry, fret......but quietness.

For thus said the Lord GOD, the Holy One of Israel,"In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength." But you were unwilling.....
Isaiah 30:15 (English Standard Version)

Oh, may I be willing, Lord, to embrace You in this returning, in coming to You......

Matt 8:7 And He said to him, "I will come and heal him."

Yes, Lord, come.....heal.......

Weathered Purpose

The trees stand strong in the storms. They face the rain, the driving wind, the drying sun almost unemotional. Appearing dead, they unexpectedly blossom with joy in spring and become shade to the weary traveler. Life hidden beneath earth covered in native grasses and rocks. Roots going deep in the droughts of time, unseen. Waiting for water, nourishment. Completely in the Maker's hand. Each cell performing it's life's work, unnoticed. Each slow change in girth, unmeasured. Branches reach toward heaven and birds make nest in it's crown. Providing shelter, a place to hatch new life, a home.

Psalm 84:3 (New International Version)

³ Even the sparrow has found a home,
and the swallow a nest for herself,
where she may have her young—

a place near your altar,

O LORD Almighty, my King and my God.

Rings of growth unknown until it's cut to it's death to give life to a fire place and warmth to a family, another one's home. It's quietness seen, appreciated on walks taken by nature lovers, identifying type......realizing it's name. The tree. Has a name. Has a purpose. Has a life.

Isaiah 55:12 (New International Version)

¹² You will go out in joy
and be led forth in peace;
the mountains and hills
will burst into song before you,
and all the trees of the field
will clap their hands.

The wonder of creation in the old, knotted tree. An unappreciated life. Yet, full, beautiful and lovely as it's purpose is valuable, essential, perfect.

Thank you Creator God for the wonders of your earth so perfectly created~Jules

Tiny buds

Throughout the winter months, I look at the trees and imagine what they looked like with leaves. I anticipate the leaves emerging. Since we moved almost a year ago, I've been watching the face of this town I live in change. I like it. It's a bit flatter than were we used to live, but still intriguing to me. I love little towns. Watching the different moods of the area, I keep coming back to the Bradford Pear tree in my front yard. I've never watched the life of a tree such as this. It's fall colors captured me and I gazed on it often. The fiery leaves danced in the cold wind. After all the leaves coated the ground with color, a skeleton remained. For months, I didn't seem to give notice to the tree that seemed to greet me with it's splendor and I marveled at. I began to wonder when the leaves would return. Time passed. Bare tree. Nothingness. Has my tree made it through this drought we've had? Then, before I realized it, these showed up. Proof that the tree was still alive, thriving. I just didn't know it. Dormancy fools the onlooker.

This is true in my life. The things that seem dead maybe dormant instead. I have to wait and see what He will do with these things. Trust that He is working. Moving. He's for me. Allowing painful time to pass and be Protector, Provider, Perfect. I just feel the length of all of it. I feel the loneliness. But I'm not alone. I just forget what the leaves of His fruit looked like in the winters of life. The hope of spring is still there. The waters to nourish new life fall fresh. My plants desperately need rain. My heart desperately needs the rain of His mercy, grace, love falling and sinking deep into my soul. I drink it in. I am refreshed. There are tiny buds in my life.

Gardener of my soul, thank you for the delicate care You tend our lives with.~Jules

From the Outside

I love old churches. I love the architecture, the history, the purpose. I've always loved stained glass and the colors coming alive as sunlight radiates through carefully pieced glass. From the outside most stained glass seems flat, dull, almost like a mistake. Once inside the sanctuary, it's a world of glowing artwork full of life and light. I think people are like this. Outwardly, they seem cold, plain, existing. Yet, if time were taken to see, be allowed inside, we could see the shattered pieces of glass actually making artwork of a life. It's only when the light is shining in that it makes sense.

The Light of the cross, that is.

Our Creator scooping up the shards of glass and delicately piecing a life together in hope. The glass makes no sense to the onlooker, but to the Creator, He sees the picture, the life. Loving fingers sliced from the task at hand, purifying burning fire, and steady time in faith, a new creation emerges. Different in appearance, yet, all the original bits in new place. A smile emerges, the sin that once gripped and strangled this little life, now is broken, crushed. Freedom. To shine. To radiate life. The Light of life. Though pieces once were, peace now reigns, alive.

Lord, create in me a new heart that will radiate your love to other shattered, hurting lives that they may hope in You.

Grace Like Rain

When all my days seem dry and I thirst for something more, I look off in the distance and see the storm clouds pour. I am once again drenched with Your mercy and Your grace as I feel the love and kindness of my Father wet my face. I must only look upward to change the view I see and once again remember it is You that makes me free...........

Wonder

As I was reading my many tidbits from blogs this morning, I was caught by this word, "wonder." How wonder grabs us, our attention. It takes over the entire body, our thoughts, our perspective. I never really thought about that before. I am sitting in my HAPPY room with it's smiling walls of yellow and I am taken with this WONDER, this new perspective of this emotion, and, I'm grateful. I want to live my life in WONDER. It's part of the main reason I scrapbook. To remember, to live a life of thankfulness spurs me on in my page making. I love taking photos to capture this WONDER, whether it's on the faces of my children or in a sunset nestling in it's place in the rolling hills on the horizon. I especially love finding myself being overwhelmed with it as I pour through the pages of scripture. WONDER is on every page......I just miss it most days due to being consumed with daily tasks of dishes, grocery lists, or just, painfully, myself........Oh, to have WONDER wrap itself around me and turn my chin to the One who thrills my heart with life in this way!

Life is good. Life is wonder. And, I love it.....

Have a wonder filled day~Jules